Monthly Archives: October 2012

Old Habits

I have had very little time or energy to write and reflect lately; at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for months. The treadmill I’ve been living on increased in both speed and incline as the final weeks of the spring semester and then summer flew by. Since then, the pace hasn’t let up. How did it get to be mid-October?  Simultaneously, I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to focus and center which leaves me feeling more and more scattered and less in control. As a result, my mood has crashed which also means that the people close to me frequently become collateral damage in the war zone that has become my inner life. When I’m in this frame of mind, my emotional experience becomes dominated by fear, anger, guilt and eventually depression. I also experience an increase in physical pain. Finally, I feel as if I simply lack the energy to make my thinking any better. Obviously, this is not where I want my head to be and I’m sure the people I encounter would like it if I could get my head straight too.

The fifth of the Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing outlined by Jampolsky (2000) is that “[n]ow is the only time there is. Pain, grief, depression, guilt, and other forms of fear disappear when the mind is focused in loving peace in this instant” (p. 107). Right. Focus. I’ll get right on that just as soon as I clear a few (thousand) things off my desk, put out a couple of fires, and pay bills for the month (with imaginary money).

Jampolsky goes on to say that the “…cycle of feeling guilty, shifting blame to others, getting angry at the guilt we now see in them, attacking them for their guilt, feeling even more guilty for our attack, and finally punishing our bodies in payment cannot be escaped as long as we believe that guilt is a valid description of anything meaningful” (2000, p. 113). I get that too. Intellectually, it makes perfect sense that this cycle is bad. I keep doing it, though. It’s exhausting. But self-reinforcing.

Jampolsky argues that we needlessly complicate our lives, first, by allowing ourselves to obsess endlessly over the possible consequences of our future choices. We give all kinds of attention to what might happen exploring all manner of potential outcomes. Certainly I’ve gotten myself into my share of problems by acting impulsively. At the same time, though, I’ve wasted a lifetime attempting to predict the unpredictable.

Second, we replay tapes of things done and gone reliving emotionally their impacts over and over. This is especially the case with negative events for which we can easily imagine a more positive outcome. This is also why people who get silver medals at the Olympics are less satisfied with the outcome than those who get bronze medals; they can more easily see how they could have been just one step higher. This is an effect called counterfactual thinking. I have said it to myself thousands of times. The past is gone; now is where life is happening. Still, I more often choose to inhabit the unpleasant past attempting to undo it.

Third, we seem to enjoy finding fault in others and ourselves. If we didn’t enjoy it, why would we do it so much? The ego LOVES judgement. That’s why Facebook is so often such a hate filled place. As Jampolsky reflected, ” …how exhausting it is to always find fault, for every time we see a fault we think something needs to be done about it. Love knows that nothing is ever needed but more love” (2000, p. 117). More love. Got it. Can I direct it at people who’ve harmed me? With effort, yes. Can I direct it at myself? Not right now.

My youngest, who worries about me a lot (which makes me feel even more guilty and stupid), is a fan of the animated Disney classic The Lion King (Allers & Minkoff, 1994) although she is way more into Minecraft at the moment. She once suggested that a friend of mine who was in a bad place “…just needs to watch Lion King and then he’ll know what to do”. Maybe I need to be visited by a mystically gifted but decidedly creepy monkey with a stick who will knock some sense into me.

The present is the only time we can choose between love and fear. Jampolsky

Ultimately, I will need to acknowledge my addictive attraction to negative emotions and commit to living in the present because “the present is the only time we can choose between love and fear” (Jampolsky, 2000, p. 107).  Love sounds better.





Tuesday, Oct. 9, 2012 of Mental Illness Awareness Week

The University of Mount Union is having a Glow Stick Vigil at the Dewald Chapel at 8:30 tonight recognizing the National Day of Prayer for Mental Illness Recovery and Understanding

The National Day of Prayer for Mental Illness Recovery and Understanding has been designated as the Tuesday of Mental Illness Awareness Week, which is the first full week in October. This year, the date is Oct. 9, 2012. Mental illness networks and faith leaders are urged to work together so that they may recognize and prepare for this day in a way that works best for each faith community. The prayers and actions of both faith communities and secular organizations (e.g. the National Alliance on Mental Illness, National Mental Health Association, Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation, Anxiety Disorders Association of America, etc.) are needed to restore mental wellness in America. By seeking God’s guidance we can recommit ourselves to replacing misinformation, blame, fear and prejudice with truth and love in order to offer hope to all who are touched by mental illness.

Randye Kaye at UMU

From the UMU website…

ALLIANCE, Ohio — Randye Kaye, author of Ben Behind His Voice: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope, discussed mental health awareness on Wednesday, October 3 at the University of Mount Union.

Kaye’s lecture was presented by Mount Union’s Department of Psychology.

Many times people only hear of extreme cases of schizophrenia and automatically associate schizophrenia with murderers, but Kaye’s book shines a light on those who live with schizophrenia and live successful lives. Kaye hopes to replace stigma with respect and empathy and shed a light on families becoming partners. Kaye shared that one in four families struggle with mental illness in a loved one.

According to Kaye, families go through trauma and live through stages of acceptance. Through sharing Ben’s story, she outlined the steps she took and when she finally realized he had a serious mental illness. Kaye recommended NAMI, National Alliance of Mental Illness, for families to get information. That was where Kaye received education about her son and what steps to take to towards his recovery.

“Recovery is not just medication,” Kaye stated.

Kaye articulated that families are a large part in recovery and what they need when they are faced with mental illness through the acronym, S.E.A.R.C.H. SEARCH stands for support, education, acceptance, resilience, communication skills and hope and humor.

Kaye encouraged the audience to give hope to families and encouraged the families who are facing a similar story to be there for their loved one.


University of Mount Union Mental Illness Awareness Week 2012

University of Mount Union Mental Health Awareness Lecture

Randye Kaye to present at UMU October 3rd

The University of Mount Union’s Department of Psychology will hold its annual Mental Health Awareness Lecture at 6 p.m. on Wednesday, October 3 in the Mount Union Theatre.

This year’s speaker is Randye Kaye, author of Ben Behind His Voice: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope. Kaye is a Connecticut state trainer for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and she will address the Mount Union audience on the process of coping when mental illness strikes loved ones.

Kaye is a former STAR 99.9 radio broadcaster, theater actress and a voice lender to companies such as Priceline, American Airlines and Big Lots. Kaye lends her voice talents to the Anti-Defamation League and is a voice coach with Edge Studio in New York City and Connecticut.

Kaye’s motivation to write Ben Behind His Voice: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope came with her own son’s diagnoses with schizophrenia.

In addition to Kaye’s blogging about mental health, she publicly addresses audiences who have experienced mental health issues within their own families. In her talks, Kaye hopes to inform others about the stigmas that go along with mental illness diagnoses, provide resources for those in need and spread hope to those who have been personally touched by mental illness.

This event is free and open to the public. For further information, contact Tamara Daily at 330-823-2457 or

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